Just Kidding
by Dragonclaw11
Summary: "You know what's weird?" "What?" "Your face."/ A series of short one-shots containing interactions between Nymphadora Tonks and Sirius Black.
1. Ugly

**Here is the beginning of a series of one-shots with Tonks and Sirius. Tonks is six in most of them, but I will say something if it is otherwise.**

**Disclaimer-I do not own Tonks or Sirius. **

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><p>"Do you like my drawing, Tonks?"<p>

"Ew. That's ugly. What is it?"

"…It's supposed to be me…"

"Yep. Definitely ugly alright."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	2. Six

**Here's a longer version of chapter one. Written because I wanted to. Don't expect this to happen often!**

**Disclaimer-I do not own Tonks or Sirius.**

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><p>"Do you like my drawing, Tonks?"<p>

"Ew. That's ugly. What is it?"

"…It's supposed to be me…"

"Yep. Definitely ugly alright."

"Tonks!"

"Oops. Sorry mum. …Not."

"Hey!"

"Oh, come on, Sirius. What happened to the old 'sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me'?"

"That saying's a lie. And how do you know that? You're-"

"Only six? Well, I'll have you know, Mr. Smarty Pants, that this only six year old is a Metamorphmagus and will become an Auror someday. So there."

"Oh, sticking your tongue out. How mature."

"I am, aren't I?"

"Shut it, Nymphadora-"

"Sirius Black!"

"Sorry Andy! Sorry…er, Tonks?"

"What. Did I say. About calling me. Nymphadora?"

"Er, not to, but I don't see why-"

"SHUT UP, SIRIUS!"

"Tonks!"

"…Sorry mum. …Not."

"You are so mean."

"Just figured that out, have you?"

"Annndy! Tonks is being mean to me!"

"Tonks! Stop being mean to Sirius. And what have I told you about calling me Andy?"

"…Not too…"

"Exactly."

"Ha, ha."

"Shut it, Nympha-"

"No, you shut it, Black."

"Tonks! Sirius! If neither of you calm down, I will have to separate you."

"Okay, mum."

"Right, An-…dromeda."

"Ha. You got pwned."

"How do you even know that word?"

"I just do. Got a problem with that?"

"…No…"

"Good."

"Sheesh. Violent little beast, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about, Sirius? I'm just six."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	3. Logic

**I know I haven't updated for a long time, and I'm really sorry, but I'll be updating this story at least once a week from now on. I apologize if the chapter's quality isn't the best-just trying to get started again.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tonks and Sirius and any other characters you may see here. I also do not own the world of Harry Potter.**

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><p>"You put the 'morph' in Metamorphmagus."<p>

"Well you put the 'hound' in hound dog!"

"You put the 'lose' in loser!"

"Well, Sirius, you put the 'idiot' in idiot."

"…"

"Can't argue with logic like that, can you?"

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	4. Mean

**So, some of you may notice a continuous theme here...Tonks keeps besting Sirius. Well, it won't always be like that, I just have fun writing those. ^.^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tonks or Sirius, or any of the characters you may see in this. I do not own the world of Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Hi Sirius."<p>

"Hi Tonks. Why are you here?"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"I'm just bored, Sirius, or else I wouldn't be here."

"You're mean."

"And you're Sirius. Your point?"

"…"

"I thought so."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	5. Friends

**I apologize for my long delay…however, I will try to update once or twice a week.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tonks or Sirius, or any of the characters you may see in this. I do not own the world of Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Sirius, when am I going to meet your friends?"<p>

"What?"

"You talk about them all the time. They sound really funny, especially James."

"Pfft...he's not as funny as I am..."

"Whatever. Can I meet them? _Please_?"

"Why? It's not like I ask to meet _your _friends."

"Would you like to? I have this friend, Charlie, who's nice. I mean, sure, he bit me once, but he was really mad, and I'm sure that was an accident. I also have a friend named Mary. She's a little odd, but-"

"Never mind! On second thought, I don't care."

"Well, I do. Pleaaase?"

"No, Tonks. I don't think-"

"My mum still doesn't know about what you did to McGonagall with the dog-"

"OKAY! Fine. I'll bring them over later this week. Happy?"

"Not yet. Can you get me a few licorice wands and cauldron cakes, and then we'll call it even?"

"I hate you."

"No, you don't. And while you're at it, can you get me a few Mars Bars? There's this place in London-"

"...Fine."

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><p><strong>On Wednesday, I'll upload Tonks meeting James. Then the following week Lily, Peter, etc.<strong>

**~D**


	6. James

**In this chapter, Tonks meets James.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Hi, Tonks, was it?"<p>

"Yep! If you call me by my first name I'll hurt you."

"...Brilliant..."

"Isn't it? Hmm, you're James, aren't you?"

"How'd you know? Was it my ridiculous good looks? My great sense of humor? My fantastic-"

"No, it was because of your hair. Sirius is always telling me how terrible it looks, especially compared to his."

"Of course he is."

"You're the one who was always asking out Lily? Or was it Peter..."

"No, it was definitely not Peter...At least, I hope not."

"Wasn't it?"

"You are definitely Sirius' cousin."

"Was that an insult?"

"Maybe."

"I don't like you."

"Was that a lie?"

"Possibly."

"I thought so. There is no way you can resist my charm."

"Didn't Lily do that for, like, six years?"

"...Yes, but that's beside the point."

"Is it?"

"You're a very the sassy six year old, aren't you?"

"Quite."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	7. Peter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Hello! Um, what did Sirius say your name was? Nympha-OW!"<p>

"If you ever call me Nymphadora I will kick you. Again."

"...Noted...Let's start over, shall we? I'm Peter, and you are-?"

"Tonks. So you're Peter..."

"Er, yes, why? Has Sirius been saying things about me?"

"Yep."

"Of course."

"Aren't you curious about what he said?"

"Not really. I've gotten used to it."

"Huh. Well, I'll tell you anyway. Sirius said you tried to date Lily. Is that true?"

"Er-"

"Well? I've already asked James, but he didn't seem to know."

"To tell the truth, in fourth year I did, but-"

"But?"

"_But_, Lily said no."

"Interesting. And James doesn't know about this?"

"Hopefully not."

"And I suppose you don't want him to know...But _I _know...and I also know James..."

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I? I'm related to Sirius."

"Don't remind me."

"Well, I just did, and I'll do it again. I'm related to Sirius."

"You're just as annoying as he is, too..."

"Thank you. I think."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	8. Lily

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP.**

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><p>"Hello."<p>

"Hi! You're Lily, I assume? I knew because of your red hair."

"Correct. And you're called Tonks?"

"Yep! It's a good thing you didn't make the same mistake as that Peter kid...I had to kick him..."

"Did he deserve it?"

"Yes! He called me by my first name!"

"Ah. Well, then, that kick was clearly needed."

"Wasn't it? I like you. You're nice to me, and you're not constantly reminding me I'm Sirius' cousin like those Peter and James guys..."

"I'm honored. I like you, too. Could you come over more often? Sirius is fun, but sometimes he's too much."

"That's understandable, and sure. Would you mind if I brought James?"

"Hmm...I guess not...just make sure he doesn't call me Nymphadora."

"Deal."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	9. Remus

**Disclaimer: I not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Excuse me? You're-"<p>

"Yes, yes, I'm Tonks. Doesn't anyone listen when Sirius tells them my name?"

"I beg your pardon, but I was going to comment on the fact that you're a metamorphmagus."

"...Oh, well, yes, I am. But, on the record, don't call me by my first name."

"Why not? It's a lovely name. You should take pride in it."

"Because I said so, Lupin."

"You've figured out who I am, then?"

"It wasn't hard, you're the only one of Sirius' friends I haven't met yet."

"I get the feeling you don't like me very much."

"You think Nymphadora is a 'lovely' name."

"It is."

"It isn't, and that's the last time we're going to discuss this!"

"If you say so."

"I do. Don't patronize me."

"I wasn't. I was just acknowledging your opinion."

"I don't like you."

"Well, _I _like you, and I think my opinion counts as much as yours, does it not?"

"Okay, fine."

"Thank you."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	10. Thoughts

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Well, Tonksie? What did you think of my friends?"<p>

"First of all, don't call me Tonksie. It's Tonks. Second of all, I guess they're okay."

"Okay?"

"Well, I like Lily, and James is a little funny. Peter's so-so, and Remus is interesting."

"Everyone likes Lily, and James isn't funny at all. Your thoughts on Peter are on point, but Remus' surprises me a little. I wouldn't describe him as _interesting_."

"What would you describe him as?"

"Smart."

"Mm hm."

"What would you describe _me _as?"

"Why are you asking? I've only just met your friends, but I've known you for a long time."

"I'm curious. I can't be curious, Tonksie?"

"Not about things that are blatantly obvious, Siri."

"Don't call me Siri."

"Don't call me Tonksie."

"Touché."

"Thank you. Anyway, I guess you're cool..."

"Really?"

"I said _I guess_. I'm not positive."

"But you're not negative, either."

"True. Well, I also think you're nice. Sometimes. And you can be smart. Sometimes."

"Thank you!"

"Most of the time you're an idiot, though."

"...Hey!"

"You're welcome."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	11. Dog

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Sirius! <em>Sirius<em>!"

"What?"

"This morning when I went into your room to throw things at you and wake you up-"

"What?"

"-I didn't see you there! Instead there was this big black dog-"

"_What_?"

"Yeah, exactly! It didn't see me because I left right away."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No, I'm not stupid enough to wake Mum up at four in the morning!"

"But you're stupid enough to wake _me_ up."

"That idea wasn't stupid, Sirius, it was brilliant, and you're an idiot for not thinking so."

"Whatever. Are you going to tell your mum?"

"Maybe. I'm still confused."

"Confused about what?"

"Don't try to distract me. Where were you? And why was there a dog in your room?"

"I think you were hallucinating."

"I think you're lying."

"We both think things. That's settled. Moving on-"

"I'll tell my mum."

"You wouldn't."

"I definitely would, and _will _if you don't explain!"

"...Alright, fine. The truth is, I was practicing magic outside of school, and a transfiguration spell went really wrong-"

"...Ah..."

"...Yeah..."

"That wasn't so bad. I thought you were going to say you're an Animagus, or something..."

"That is ridiculous."

"I know. I mean, Sirius Black, unregistered Animagus? That doesn't have a very good ring to it..."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	12. Weird

**Sorry for the late update. The place I was staying at had a bad internet connection, but I'm back home, so expect regularly scheduled updates.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP.**

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><p>"Hey, Sirius?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"You know what's weird?"

"What?"

"Your face."

"Hey, Tonks?"

"Yes?"

"You know what else is weird?"

"What?"

"Your mean personality."

"Hey!"

"You insulted me first."

"So? You can't insult child like that."

"Well, you can't insult an adult like that!"

"You're an adult?"

"Legally, yes."

"Huh. Interesting."

"Isn't it?"

"That's what I just said!"

"...Never mind."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


	13. Job

**I will be ending this story in two chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Sirius! I know what I'm going to be when I grow up!"<p>

"You're not going to be a unicorn?"

"Of course not, I'm not four."

"A pegasus?"

"Don't be ridiculous! ...Are those real?"

"I honestly don't know. But hey, we're wizards-"

"And witches."

"Yes, and witches. It could be possible. So, it's _not _a pegasus?"

"No, Sirius, and it's not a horse, either. I want to be an Auror!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've heard you talking with James about it, and it sounds really cool."

"Oh. Well, good for you, Tonks!"

"Thank you."

"...We're positive on the unicorn? I mean, you _are _a metamorphmagus...I know you can make a snout, but can you do other animal feat-"

"You are reading way too much into this, Sirius."

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><p><strong>~D<strong>


End file.
